(Just to be clear, I am the dude on the bottom)...
Like no matter what I try and do to get ahead, there is someone just a little better and they are rubbing my face in it.
1 – Getting Marks
My sister is getting her fancy post-secondary education and getting fab marks in everything she touches…
While the only marks I get are on my ass... they are my fancy post-double cream brie marks, also known as 'stretch'...
2 – Breaking Out
My sister is finally coming into her own, accumulating new friends like they are hockey cards, breaking out of her shell.
I am stressed and breaking out all over…. My new low – not just one, but two pimples on my butt. No, not dimples… Pimples.
3 – Busting loose
When my sister tried on her bridesmaids dress, she was as boobylicious as boobylicious can get. Perfect cleave – no stretchmarks from having her boobs grow an entire alphabet worth of sizes overnight due to breastfeeding – Perfect.
The only thing busting out when I tried on my wedding dress – those little armpit boobs… Don’t know what I am talking about?? Let me see if I can find something on good old Google…
Ah yes, here it is…
Anywho.. I have 5 months left to work on my thunderpits, get a boob lift, and skin transplant… No problem-o I will just add it to the list of other wedding things I have to do! :D
Your writing is funny, although your frustration is real.
ReplyDeleteYou've earned your stretch marks, wear them proudly! (My lame pep talk doesn't help, does it?) She'll get hers someday.
When I feel self-conscious about my features, I try to remember to smile and be friendly. That boosts up the attractiveness and overrides physical flaws. Beautiful (surface) people with perfect bodies become ugly when they don't smile and are rude.
This is such true, sound advice. To be honest the pep talk does help because I know how true it is. My sister, though she is making lots of new friends right now, will likely not have a single one in a year, just a bunch of new ones again. Like I said, collects em like hockey cards... Not like people. One thing I am very lucky for is that I have 5 bridesmaids other than my sister (plus a few girls I would have LOVED to ask - but realized having 12 bridesmaids was a little silly) and they are all very wonderful women who I am very close to for years now.
ReplyDeleteSo yes, the inside is much more important.
Thanks Gina,
xo