Today I am admitting something.
I am depressed. I have spent a lot of time telling myself "if only ___ was better," or "if only I had ___" it would be okay.
The truth is that my hormones are about as consistent as rogers cellphone network coverage is.
Last night I went from happy to angry to sad to placid in about the span of 40 minutes. James is getting to a point where is doesn't know what will be next out of my mouth.
I am experiencing the symptoms of postpartum depression, without the joys of a child. I am finding it a struggle each and every day to overcome my feelings about my miscarriages and my physical and hormonal symptoms only add to the difficulty.
I need more support from James, and I don't know how to ask for it, because I never like to be weak. I think I am at a point, though, where my weakness will have to take backseat to the help I need.
Monday, October 5, 2009
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I read on your profile about the miscarriages. I am so sorry. I've also had one (found out during a would-have-been-happy ultra sound appointment).
ReplyDeleteThe emotions, hormones and exhaustion trying to raise a toddler (sometimes as a single parent when spouse is on a trip or training) takes a toll on us.
No kidding. Today Ativan is my saviour.
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